Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips

First of all - The Zombies are going to attack. It's been scientifically proven. Do you think that hours of playing Deat Island, The Last of Us or Rust made you ready for it? Maybe yes. But you can also spend few minutes to read my short guide how to not get eaten. And then go play Day Z just for sure you are prepared.


Let's start with some basic rules that will help you in every survival situation.

1. Avoid pitching your tent on the rim of an active volcano.
2. The average bee can only sting once. The average hive contains 3000 bees.
3. If attacked by a bear, play dead. It won’t fool the bear, but it’ll be good practice for you.
4. There’s no need to be afriad of strange noises in the night. Anything that intends you harm will stalk you silently.
5. Remember: a rattlesnake is just as scared of you as you are of it. But keep in mind that the snake’s the one with poision fangs.

Got it? Now we can deal with real problem - Zombies

Rule #1 - Armor


Denim trousers, black t-shirt and sport shoes are good as long as you can run really fast. For those who can't - buy an armor. And I don't mean like hockey pads. Real medieval armor.

Now you can tell me that it would be hard to run with all that steal armor on. Well... don't run. Simple. When you run you are loosing energy and water. You get hot and sweat. We don't know if zombies will have termal vision or will rely on the sense of smell so better avoid that. And what if they get close to you? Body slam them! Be a man! Or a woman! Whichever applies.

Rule #2 - Stay fit.


If you're over weight or don't exercise as much, you will most likely die in Zombie Overtake. It is so obvious that between two people - one obese, one fit who will run faster from a zombie.
If we were to get off our couch more ofter and grab a salad we might last a chance in the infection.
Not that I'll be doing that. I'll be here eating pizza in my shiny armor.

Rule #3 - Be prepared.


Always have the survival pack ready. You can buy hurricane or tornado survival pack but best thing is to create own ZORK - Zombie Overtake Rescue Kit.

List of items that you should have in your ZORK:
- water bottles with carbon filters
- non-perishable food
- knive or two
- lighter / matches / flint
- tampons - both man and woman should have it.
- toothbrush and toothpaste
- socks
- painkillers
- radio

and anything else you can think of. But avoid:
- laptops (too heavy and consumes a lot of energy)
- flashlight (hard to find batteries. Torch will be better - both gives heat and deters wild animals)

Remember to have multiple ZORKs in any of your friends apartments or at least one always near you - you never know when they will attack.

Rule #4 - Nerds Don't Win


Just because you spend your time playing Assassin's Creed or Call of Duty 43 on your X-box
all day long doesn't mean you will be able to face those monsters in real life.
UNLESS! You are a REAL nerd. When I say nerds don't win, I mean in phisical way. But nerds have that awesome thing in their brains that allow them to think better than everyone else.
Being though and strong is helphul. But being smart and not using your muscles and saving your energy of later is better.

Rule #5 - What is love?


Sorry to say that but you have to forget about love.
It is not your girlfiend anymore. Now it is only gut eating freak. So close the visor in your armor and smack her down. Try just to paralize her - in that way there is a chance that she will be still alive when someone create a cure for Zombizm.

Do you hear them coming? Do you feel more prepared?